never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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