I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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