Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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