how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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