I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
