its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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