Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
