this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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