Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
