Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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