She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
