smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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