Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what day is it and did you see me today?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it because I queefed?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
