oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
