her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
