Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
