Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
