Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
