i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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