I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
