At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
