I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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