I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
