her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
