Sry I called you an 8
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
