I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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