Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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