Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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