He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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