it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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