you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize