508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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