I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
