the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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