I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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