i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
