Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
