she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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