so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So many bounce houses so little time
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
50% drunk capacity currently
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
