Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
