The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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