I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize