Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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