K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I only lived at night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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