On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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