well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
