i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
