He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
