I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was like eating out sand paper
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
