just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
