Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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