my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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