If i come over, it means nothing
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
