At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
