at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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