tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
