I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
