No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
