so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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