i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
