i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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