this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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