I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
