bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
