All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
