he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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