went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
