I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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