You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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